As Told by Padfoot
by Aloha Kitty
Summary: Ever wanted to know Sirius's "SOB" story? What happened during 7th year? Why was it his fault James and Lily got together? :) Guaranteed to make you laugh or your money back! :) Chapter 8! now up!
1. My SOB Story

Hello! Welcome to my first **Harry Potter fiction! I hope you like it; it's totally in Sirius's POV! Well, get onto the story! And please, please, please! review!**

Disclaimer: Anything you recognize here belongs to J.K. Rowling. Anything you don't belongs to me. So no sticky paws!

                                                                                    **As Told by Padfoot**

            Seventh year! Finally! The most important school year has at last rained down upon us! Along with golfball sized hail...

            Yep, right as I walk out the front door to go to King's Cross, my forehead is permanently dented by a stupid piece of ice. Go figure. I mean, really, we're in the beginning of September! It should as _least_ be warm!

            But luckily, Mrs. P. had kept her cool long enough to throw me and Jamesie into her Buick, her 'pride and joy.' Come on Mrs. P! You're a _wizard for gosh sake! Err...witch. Right._

            Oh, I suppose I should say who Mrs. P. is. Well, maybe I should say who _I am first of all._

            My name is Sirius Orion Black. Don't laugh, I know my initials are S.O.B. But they pretty much fit my life up until last year, when I finally cracked and ran away from home.

                                                ~*~ Initiating flashback in T-5...4...3...2...1...BOOM! ~*~

            "Morning mum," I said rather stiffly. When she didn't reply, I said a bit louder, "Morning mum." No reply. Okay, usually she gives me a good cold stare when I walk into a room, so this is just downright strange.

            Just then, Kreacher, our stupid house-elf, walked in. My mother gave him a warm smile and said, "Good morning, Kreacher." Kreacher, who hero worships my mother, gets absolutely ecstatic when she talks to him, even if she's threatening him with clothes. I told you he was stupid.

            Kreacher shuffled sideways towards my mum, holding something behind his back, so I couldn't see it. "Mistress! Kreacher has found another one!" he squeaked in that odd little voice of his. This somewhat sparked my interest. Another what? I wondered. Oh well, pretty much the only thing I was worried about at the moment was where my breakfast was.

            "Hand it to me," she said, her voice suddenly laced with silver nitrate. Kreacher shot me a nastily triumphant look as he handed my mother a thick envelope addressed to Prongs that I was planning on owling later. I felt as if a hundred pound weight had been dropped off the Empire State Building straight into my stomach. If she read it...

            The nightmare continued as she did indeed open my letter, and her already moody expression grew even sourer as her eyes scanned over the not one, but _four sheets of parchment I had written to James._

            "So," she breathed out. "So." Yeah, so what? "Foul, _am I? Ungrateful, __am I? Filthy, traitorous scum that doesn't deserve even the deepest, dankest, most miserable crevice of Hell, __that's what I am?" Yeah, that's what you are._

            "Give me my letter back," I finally managed to say through clenched teeth. But instead, she tore the parchment in half and threw it into the fire. I suddenly wished I had not left my wand upstairs in my room. Maybe it's lucky I did though; I probably would have hexed her on the spot.

            "I never did like you," she spat at me. "Ever since you went off to Hogwarts and met that Potter, you've been badmouthing our family name!" Her hand twitched slightly as if she would like nothing more then to slap me. Funny, I would like nothing more then to slug her.

            "Don't drag James into this. I would still be disgusted with this family even if I had never met him." This time she actually did slap me. No, more like bitch-slapped me. I can still feel it, even today...But I didn't yelp out in pain. I didn't even flinch. I didn't want her to know how much she actually got to me. But believe you me, this was nothing compared to what I had in store for me.

            "You...insolent brat! I provide you with food, clothes, shelter, and a decent, respectable family name, and how do you repay me?" I don't. "You don't!" Man, I'm good.

            "Yeah, well if you care so much, you have a funny way of showing it!"

            "Do not raise your voice at me, you ungrateful little mudblood lover!"

            At that, I just walked out of the room. If I hadn't, who knows what I might have done. So, I ran straight up to my room, packed my trunk, and grabbed my broom (a brand new Nimbus 1500, I might add) and my wand. I tied my trunk to my broom, and put a Lightening Charm on it. It was still pretty heavy though; Charms was never really my cup of tea. No, if you want the meanest Charm possible, go to Lily.

            But anyhoo, back to my 'escape.' I was about to get on my Nimbus and put an invisibility spell on it and myself when my door bangs open. Literally. And there's my mum, standing with that annoying scowl on her face, wand pointed right at me.

            "Where do you think _you're_ going?" she hissed at me.

            "I'm leaving. I can't take this house or you anymore!"

            "You're not going anywhere!"

            "Just watch me!" Nothing, I mean **nothing**, would have prepared me for what happened next.

            My heart seemed to stop as she yelled that one little word. The next thing I knew, I was screaming in pain, in agony, on the floor. My very bones were on fire; it felt like a thousand daggers ripping at my skin. Just then, I wanted to die, for the pain to be over. My body was numbing; darkness was closing in around me; and the last thing I heard was my mother's high pitched shrill of laughter, and then I fainted.

            When I finally awoke, I was laying in a plain, queen sized bed, with white blankets and pillows. The walls were also white, so I thought at that point I might be at a hospital. But there were none of those stupid machines that go "beep-beep-beeeeeeeep." Then it struck me that I might be in St. Mungo's, where they don't even _have_ electricity.

            I decided to get out of bed, though very reluctantly, and go explore. When I tried to stand up though, I was shaking so bad, my knees gave way, and I fell to the ground with a _thud_. A moment later, an old man with a few patches of white hair and about three teeth rushed into my room.

            "Are you okay there sonny?" he asked me with genuine concern in his voice. He outstretched his hand to help me up, but I was still shaking and had to sit back on the bed.

            "F-fine," I mumbled. I was rather embarrassed. I mean, wouldn't you be? Imagine being a buff sixteen-year-old like myself, and needing some old guy with no teeth coming to your aid. Oh well, I was still grateful. I suppose I should have said thanks, but instead, "Where am I?" came out.

            "The Leaky Cauldron. How'd you get here? Dunno, only some lady came and brought you in, told me to give you these." He handed me a scroll of parchment and a small black bag whose contents were clanging together, making a metallic sound.

            "W-who was the lady?" I asked, already knowing.

            "Dunno that either, she was wearing a black hood and wouldn't take it down. She said to look after you, 'cuz you weren't well. She brought your stuff in after you." For the first time, I noticed my trunk lying at the foot of the bed, my broom on one of those mounted broom holders, and my wand on the wooden dresser.

            I nodded. "Thanks..."

            He gave me a crinkled smile and turned to leave, asking before he did, "Will you be needing anything young master?"

            "No, I'll get something in the alley...thanks." This time he nodded, and left the room, leaving me to my thoughts.

            Right when he left though, I tore open the note. It only had three words on it. _Don't come back. So, now we all know who the lady was, right? In the black bag was some money. No, a __lot of money__. 500 galleons, to be exact. That surprised me; I would have thought she would leave me with nothing. Seriously. No pun intended. Shows me, eh? Not that I was complaining. I was free, and I had 500 galleons. So I did what any reasonable sixteen-year-old let loose in the biggest mall you could possibly imagine with 500 galleons would do. I shopped._

            First stop, Eyelope's Owl Emporium. I had to owl Prongs before my head exploded. After looking at all the owls a billion times, I decided, what the hell, and bought the most expensive one. He was a strong and handsome (like me!) eagle-owl. His powerful black talons looked like they could pierce concrete. Eyelope was so happy I bought his most expensive owl, he escorted me out of his store. Or maybe that was because I was flirting with his daughter? Must remember to ask Jamesie.

            After that, I got all my school stuff and some new robes (*yawn*), and a birthday present for Lils, even though her and James weren't exactly on speaking terms. But they would make a cute couple, right? RIGHT?? You better agree with me or I oughta... Anyways, I stocked up on some stuff from Gavin's Joke World (corny name, eh?) though I won't go into specifics. Let's just say, that year first years never knew what hit em.

            Once I got back to my room, I wrote James a letter and owled it straightaway. And amazingly enough, I got a reply back in three hours, contrary to the normal three _years_ it took.

            _Padfoot__,_

_                        ARE YOU SERIOUS?! (No pun intended buddy) She did the...the...Crucitacious (a/n: sp?) Curse on you?! Tell someone! Ship her off to    Azkaban where she belongs! I told my mum that you got thrown out...but don't be mad! She says that's really great, that if it was her, she would have gotten out of there as soon as she could walk! BUT GUESS WHAT!? She said you can come stay with us! Use the fireplace at the Leaky Cauldron and come on already! Just say Potter Manor, but do me a favor? Remember to throw the Floo Powder in this time, ok? Great! Oh, Remus is coming too! I have some news to tell you both, I'm really excited about it!_

_            -Prongs_

            _P.S.: Oh yeah, my mum called your owl Zeus for some reason. Sorry 'bout that, I think he's attached to it. Oops. _

            After I read the letter for the fifth time, I actually started jumping on my bed and shouting. Tom even came in to see if I had gone mad or something. I just kept laughing, so I guess he thought I _was_ off my rocker, but I didn't care. Nothing could take this away from me.

            I wrote James a hasty reply that I would be there as soon as I could, and told Zeus to stay at James's. I then set to packing, which took longer then it should have, do to everything I had bought over my two-day stay. Once everything was thrown into my trunk, it wouldn't close. I had to resort to sitting on it and performing the Lockita Charm. Ugh...there go the Charms again...-_- I grabbed my broom (NOT that, you dirty-minded people! For shame.) and swung it over my shoulder, put my wand in my front pocket, so as not to lose any buttocks, and dragged my trunk over to the fireplace next to the bar downstairs. I told Tom goodbye, threw the green Floo Powder into the fire, and then was spinning my way over to Jamesie's house.

            I always hated traveling by Floo Powder. As soon as my whole body stopped spinning, I fell flat on my face on the wooden floor of James's living room. And there he was, cackling like a maniac. Didn't even have the decency to help me up. Hmf.

            While I'm dusting off my robes, my stupid broom comes flying out of the fireplace, followed by my trunk, and both hit me, knocking me back onto the floor.

            "Never...I will _never_ do that again..." Remus muttered to himself as he stepped out of the fireplace. He obviously didn't see me lying facedown in on the cold...dusty...hard wooden floor, or maybe he did and just didn't care, but either way he stepped on me. Meany. 

            "Oof...you know Moony dah-ling, as much as I loves you...GEROFF ME!"

                                                ~*~ Roger that, this is flashback, we're coming in for a landing. ~*~

            Ah, those were the days. Oh, and if you're wondering what the big news James had for us was, he got made captain of a Gryffindor Quidditch Team. Ho hum.

            P.S.: In case you haven't figured it out all ready, you twit, Mrs. P. is Mrs. Potter. I mean, really, couldn't you have figured that out on your own? Well, I have one word for you. What-_eva_.____

_                                                                                                ~*~*~*~*~_

Well, that wasn't so bad, was it?? WAS IT?? A little positive reinforcement never hurts you know!! I know! You can make it up to me by reviewing! Bwuahahaha ^_^

Toodles!


	2. Pinstills

Hey everyone! Sorry for being such a slow updater...lol. The reason for this is because I simply could not think of anything to write, so here's a short little chapter about the train ride to seventh year :)

* * *

**As Told by Padfoot**

I swear, if James shines his Head Boy badge one more time I'm gonna...I'm gonna...I'm gonna do something so evil, words can't describe it.

Oh yeah, guess what? Jamesie is gonna freak when he hears this. Lily is Head Girl. You know, Lily _Evans_, his stalkee herself. Her friend Miranda told me...no one can resist my cloud of sexiness. Hah.

Remus doesn't look too well. I think last night was a full moon. Too bad it couldn't have been tomorrow. Or maybe he looks ill because of the Shaky Potion I slipped him. Hmm...

I have no idea where Peter is. I haven't seen him the whole train ride. That's odd...he's usually like some sick puppy who won't stop following us. You know, he reminds me of Kreacher. The way he hero-worships James. Really! He does! They also kinda look the same if you ask me. But you didn't, so eh.

I found something interesting out today. Muggles write with pinstills. No, wait, James says it's called a _pencil_. Know how I found out? Come on, I know you want to know how I know. Wait...what did I just say? You're confuzzling me. Anyhoo, I was passing by Lily's compartment earlier, and decided to err, check in on them. Well, Lily had her nose stuck in a book of course. Hey...that gives me an idea...evil laugh. Right, but I won't write it here incase it should happen to fall into the wrong hands. Particularly James's.

The first thing I noticed when I saw Lily was that she had a piece of wood behind her ear. So I thought, maybe she doesn't know it's there. But who wouldn't notice a piece of wood in there hair? "Lily, you have something in your hair." She jumped, so I guess she didn't hear me come in. She felt her hair and pulled the _pencil_ out from behind her ear.

She looked at me like I was crazy. I looked at her like she was crazy. We both looked at each other like we were both crazy.

"What do you want Sirius?"

"Aww, how sweet, you remember me." I have a comeback for everything. Ask James. He'll tell you.

"Seriously, what do you want?"

"Haha. I was just coming to see how you were."

"Yeah right, I know you're up to no good."

"Me?" feigned look of shock "I would never!" She just rolled her eyes at me. How rude.

"Go away Sirius."

"You still never told me why you have a piece of wood." She gave me that look again. I'm not crazy! Really!

"It's a pencil you moron."

"You named a piece of wood? And you think I'M crazy?"

"No, you weirdo, it's a pencil. P-e-n-c-i-l. It's like a quill, except for Muggles.

"Oh," I said, as if I understood perfectly.

She rolled her eyes again. Ruuuuuude! "Look, I'll show you." She got out a sheet of parchment and started _writing_ with the pencil.

Eyes opening in involuntary surprise, I grabbed the pencil from her.

"Hey, give it back!"

Too late, I was already out of the compartment and showing it to James.

"You're joking," he said when I told him what it was.

"Nope. Look." I wrote_ Hello_ on a piece of parchment. Jamesie was just as surprised as I had been.

"Whoa...far out." I know he didn't just say far out. I think he's trying to act more Muggle-like to impress Lils. Oh well, I'll play along.

"Wait...why were you in Lily's compartment anyways?" What's with the suspicious glare Jamesie, don't you trust me, your own best friend, best man at yours and Lily's wedding?

"No reason...just talking."

"About what?"

"You. About how ugly you are and what a big head you have."

"Liar."

"How do you know?"

"Because, you're the worst liar I've ever seen." RAWR!

"Nu uh."

"You're lying through your teeth."

"No I'm not. You can go ask Lily yourself if you don't believe me." Of course I wasn't really talking to Lily about that, but anything to get them two to talk, you know?

"Whatever..." He kind of just dropped the subject after that.

"Hey Moony, thought of our annual Prank-Snivellus-on-the-First-Day-of-School prank yet?"

Moony grinned evilly and nodded. He scares me when he does that. I mean, Moody is supposed to be the perfect teacher's pet, not the evil prank master.

Moony just told us the prank. _Excellent.

* * *

_

Everything you see here is copyright J.K. Rowling, anything you don't belongs to me :)


	3. He wore an itsy bitsy, teeny weeny

No... I'm not dead :)

**~*~As Told By Padfoot~*~**

****

            Let me start off by saying...SLYTHERIN BITES. So me, Jamsie, and Moony were walking to the Great Hall, right? We were casually talking about how Snivellus's hair seemed to change from greasy and black to fluffy and pink overnight...what?! Stop looking at me like that! I didn't do it! I swear! *cries* Right...*clears throat*

            Anyways, we walk into the Great Hall, only to be bombarded with laughter. My eyes widened with horror, and my jaw touched the floor. Across the back wall of the room, there was a huge banner, and I'd rather not say what was on it...

            A while ago, I stayed at Prong's house for Halloween. Well, me (being the hilarious guy that I am), decided to dress a little...meager, that year. Yep, end of October, I'm running around with a Speedo, scarf, and a pair of socks. (Seriously, don't ask)

            You guessed it. Smack-dab-in-the-middle of the Great Hall is a picture of me in my two-sizes-too-small bright orange bikini. Needless to say, everyone had a great laugh, but me of course. I think even Professor Dumbledore was amused; at least he had the decency to take down the picture. *hugs*

            So yes, Slytherin bites. (Hey, that's sort of a pun if you think about it, huh?)

            "PADFOOT, I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!"

            Gulp, what'd I do now???

            "PADFOOT, I SWEAR..."

            I guess I should go see what he wants.

            "PADFOO-"

            "Jamsie, stop yelling, you're going to deafen me!"

            "Sirius, I don't know what you were thinking, but this is definitely NOT funny."

            "..? What are you ranting about?"

            "You know damn good and well what I'm yelling about!" At this point he held up a scroll of parchment.

            "A piece of parchment...? What's wrong with it?"

            "Sirius, this is the essay for Binn's! THE essay!"

            "And...?"

            He unrolled it and threw it at me. All over it, in little hearts, were the words "I love you; Be mine; SB & JP 4EVER!; etc. I couldn't help but laugh. I guess he took that as a confession.

            "Padfoot, I've been working on this for THREE weeks!"

            "Well, no offense James, but it doesn't look like much...Oh, sure, the hearts are neat, but-" He actually smacked me! Hmf. Meany!

            "James! Honestly!"

            "Shove it Sirius, I don't want to hear it." He stalked out of the room, leaving me gaping after him; why do people always look at me when something happens??

            I followed him, of course. "James!"

            "What do you want? And _WHY_ are you following me?"

            "I'm not following you! I just happen to be traveling in the same direction as you, at the same speed, and at the same time."

            I knew he was trying not to grin...can't stay mad at me! I mean, could you? *adorable look*

            "Padfoot, I'm still mad at you."

            "Lies!"

            "Um...ok...how about no. Now stop following me, or I'll hex you."

            "James, hold on a sec, please?" He stopped walking, and turned around to look at me.

            "Ok, talk."

            "I didn't do it."

            "Uh huh...I'm sure you didn't..."

            "James! Would _I_ really do something like that to you bestest buddy?" He rolled his eyes.

            "Yes, actually, I think you would..."

            "But that's not the point!" He raised his eyebrow at me; some freaky talent he picked up from Lily that he knows gives me the shivers. "I really didn't do it; I swear!"

            "If you say so..."

            "You don't believe me."

            "Not in the slightest."

            "Prongs, you gotta believe me. I'll bet you anything it was Snivellus."

            James sighed. He thought for a second. "Alright Siri; I believe you. But..." he grinned his evil grin. "You know, this means war."

            "On me?!! I didn't do it!"

            He rolled his eyes again. "On Snape, you twit!"

^.-

            "Good morning, milady," I said as I slid in the seat next to Lils. She rolled her eyes at me. Gah, why do people keep doing that?? "How are you this fine day?"

            "Ok Sirius, what do you want?"

            "What? Just because I'm being polite and nice all of a sudden you just _assume_ that I want something?"

            "I'm not assuming; now, what do you want?"

            "Fine fine, you caught me." She gave me a nastily triumphant grin. Bah. "I really need your help."

            "With...?"

            "Charms."

            "Honestly Sirius...we've been in school for less then a month, and you're already failing Charms?"

            "Who said anything about Charms class?" I smirked deviously; I think she knew I was up to no good.

            "Oh no, I refuse to take part in any revenge against the Slytherins for writing all over James's essay in inerasable ink..." She gave me a mischievous smile. Wait a sec...Lils + mischievous in the same sentence? = baaaaaad.

            "Alright Lils, spill. You did it, huh?"

            "Me? Never! James's essay just happened to be sitting on a table in the common room, looking all lonely...there just happened to be an inkwell there...and can I really help it if my quill _fell_ into the ink bottle, and just happened to roll onto his essay in the shape of little hearts?"

            I laughed; she cracks me up sometimes. No wonder James is crazy for her; if he wasn't, I can't promise you that I wouldn't try to get her myself.

            "But Siri?"

            "Yeah Lils?"

            "Don't tell James. I really do feel just awful; he looked really upset."

            "I won't. Damn it Lils...that was too funny. Too bad he didn't hand it into Binns without looking at it, eh?"

            She giggled. I grabbed a piece of toast and headed out onto the courtyard. I made my way to the Quidditch field; today was the first day of practice for the Gryffindor team. I was beater, James was seeker.

            "Sirius! Over here!" James was waving like a madman. He was sitting on his new Nimbus, showing off to some sixth year Ravenclaws. I'll give em props; I've dated a few Ravenclaws, and I have to say, those are some fine looking gals.

            I ran to the broom shed, grabbed my Nimbus 1500, and raced back to James. It felt good to be flying again; I forgot how much I missed it (my mum never let me practice Quidditch at home; she was afraid what the neighbors would think; and I could never practice at James's house, he lived too close to Muggles.)

            "Hiya dolls," I said with a wink. The tallest one, who had jet black hair and ice blue eyes, blushed a deep shade of pink.

            "Nice...bathing...suit!" she managed to say in between fits of giggles. I stared at her in horror; eep!

            "Why...er...thank you." Smooth. Real smooth Padfoot.

            "Alright team, form a line, over here, chop chop!" James called to his teammates behind him.

            "Well girlies, I'm off, see you later?" James said slyly to the Ravenclaws. They giggled some more, and waved to James as he rode off, giving them a small salute as he went.

            "You know James, you're already borderline with Lily as it is..."

            He groaned. "Don't remind me."

^.-

            "You can stop laughing now, you know," James said to me, scowling as we walked back to the common room.

            "No, I can't! Hahahaha...that was waaaay too funny Prongs!"

            "Funny? _Funny?_ You think me falling fifteen feet through the air off my broom, after crashing into a wall trying to catch a snitch I hallucinated (I swear, I had nothing to do with this! *shifty eyes*), and landing on top of Vanessa, who then fell off her broom, while I was still on her mind you, then landing on me in a puddle of mud, where after we rolled ten feet, with me landing on top of her, is funny?!!" I nodded, doubling over.

            "Your face...was...priceless!"

            "I hate you."

            "More lies!"

            "..."

            "Anyways, I think you're just lucky Lils wasn't there. Isn't it about time you...you know...asked her out?"

            "Soon Siri, soon. Sooner then you think."

            I have a feeling he means tonight. We'll see.

^.-

            HEYA! I'm sooooooo sorry for taking so long on updating this! :\ I've been really busy with school and stuff, so... yeah, lol

            Well, hopefully I can start updating more frequently!

            And please forgive me if I got any HP details wrong; it's been a few months since I read the books! So don't kill me please ;P


	4. Flowermen?

Ok ok ok, I just realized James was actually a chaser- too bad, he's Seeker in this story, got it? Good! grins Enjoy!

                                                                             ** As Told By Padfoot **

****

            Even though I know you girls dig guys who are all sweaty and smelly after a good Quidditch practice, I decided to take a shower anyways. Sorry :'(

            After getting out of the shower, throwing on a pair of shorts, I headed to the common room to check on the Lily/James situation. I had a gut feeling he was going to ask her out; I wasn't going to miss it. And hey, if she shot him down, hopefully it would be comedic and I'd have a future source for blackmail.

            Doing my best not to be noticed as I entered the common room, I quickly spotted James. He was pretending to be reading the book, but from where I was, I noticed two things; he was staring at Lily, and his book was upside down. Lily however, was thoroughly engrossed in a novel, which was right side up. I stealthily made my way to the other side of the common room, but then-

            "Sirius, where is your shirt??!" Drat. Foiled again!

            "Oh, erm...hiya Moony. You see, I was, err, so _terribly_ anxious to be graced with your company, that I came looking for you in such a rush that I... forgot, to, erm, don a upper body covering piece of, uh, attire."

            "You could have just said you forgot to wear a shirt."

            "That wouldn't have been putting all my brilliant brain-cells to work though!" I protested.

            "I'm just surprised you know such big words." I growled at him.

            "'The' and 'was' and 'to'; how long did it take you to learn them?" Moony quickly dodged my fist as he finished this statement. I wasn't going to hit him _too_ hard, I promise.

            However, James was as into staring at Lily as she was into reading her book, so he didn't notice this exchange between me and wolf-boy.

            "What are you doing?" Moony asked me suspiciously as I ducked under an armchair. I shushed him and pulled him down behind the chair.

            "Prongs is about to ask Lils out."

            "Wha-"

            "Shhh!"

            Looking from around the chair, I had a clear view of James and Lily, but I doubt if they could see us. Ever so slowly, James closed his book, set it down on his chair, and walked over to Lily. She didn't notice him until he cleared his throat.

            "Yes?" she said, obviously anxious to get back to the novel.

            "W-what are you reading?" he stammered nervously.

            "Oh. It's a fairy-tale, I love them. This one is called 'Cinderella'."

            "I think I've read that before," James said unconvincingly.

            "Really?" Lily asked, showing minor signs of interest.

            "Well, no. But- hey, listen Lily. Are you going to Hogsmeade next weekend?"

            "I think so. I need to buy a few things. Can I ask why?" She put her fairy-tale aside, careful not to lose her page, and looked James straight in his eyes. Meanwhile, I mimicked crying, and Moony handing me an invisible box of tissues.

            "Thanks," I whispered. "Oh, I just can't believe it; they grow up so fast nowadays..." Remus fought hard to suppress a fit of laughter.

            "I was wondering..." James started.

            "Yes?" Lils asked, raising an eyebrow slightly. Gah!

            "W-would you like to..."

            "Uh-huh?" she said.

            "Would you like to..."

            "Go on," she said, as if speaking to a three year old.

            I was starting to get impatient.

            "If you're not busy, maybe we could..."

            "We could?" she asked.

            Forget it! I can't take it anymore! "Lils, he wants to know if you'll have a drink with him at the Hogshead and then move on to become his girlfriend, whereupon graduation you two will be married; I shall be best man, and Remus and Peter will be flower...men! And you shall bear his child(ren)!" I clapped my hands over my mouth; Remus slapped his forehead. James looked horrorstruck; but Lily, on the contrary, looked highly amused.

            "I don't know about all that Sirius, but of course I'll go to Hogsmeade with you James." Prongs looked utterly relieved; he sunk into the nearest chair, smiling feebly.

            "I guess I should be off to bed, good night Sirius, Remus...James." She smiled at the latter as she made her way up the stairs to her dorm.

            "Well done mate!" I said, jumping onto James's lap.

            "Oof! Get off me you great ogre!" He then proceeded to push me onto the floor. "Honestly mate, how much do you bloody weigh? You need to go on a diet or-"

            "Muscle weighs more then fat, my friend," I said, flexing my arms and tightening my stomach. Pettigrew, however, chose that moment to walk in. He looked at me strangely for a second. I stood up straight, and there was an uncomfortable silence for a minute.

            "Right, well, I'm off for the night." James hurried out of the room, closely followed by Remus. I was suddenly very aware of the fact that I didn't have a shirt on; Peter gives me the chills. He creeps me out sometimes, just staring at me or James or Remus. I have no clue why James lets him hang out with us really. sigh

            "James just asked Lily out!" I said quickly.

            "W-what?" He somehow looked disappointed.

            "I know! Isn't it great?!"

            "W-wonderful."

            "You don't look to happy about it."

            "Oh, I am, I am! Just surprised, that's all. I thought they hated each other?"

            "Wormtail, _where_ have you been the past six years?? Under a rock?"

            He laughed a high-pitched, obviously forced laugh.

            "Whatcha got there Pete?" I asked, eyeing something Wormtail was hiding behind his back for the first time.

            "Oh, it's n-nothing. It's nothing... Night Sirius."

            "Night mate." He walked up the staircase to our dorm, careful to keep the secret item, well, secret.

            I looked around the room thoughtfully. For some reason it dawned on me that my best mate had a girlfriend. I sincerely hope that we'll still be as good of friends as ever, but no telling when girls get added to the picture. Only time will tell, I suppose.

            I made my way up the scarlet and gold carpeted stairs, all the way to the top of them, where the door to our dormitory was located. I had a sneaking suspicion that everyone would be asleep, so I opened the door very slowly and quietly. I got into bed, but couldn't fall asleep. Silvery streams of moonlight shone through the windows, illuminating the room with an almost dreamlike glow. A particularly large beam fell across the waste paper basket in between my bed and Wormtail's. I stared at it for a good few seconds before I realized what I was looked at. Flowers. Roses, in fact.

            I leaned over and snatched them up, quietly as I could. There was an even dozen. I searched for a card, and finally found one. It was a small gray rectangle, with pink letters that read: "Lily, you are more beautiful then even the most gorgeous rose. Here's to us- Peter." HERE'S TO US?!!

                                                                                  .-

Heyo, sorry for the wait :/ I swear the next chapter will be ludicrously long!

Hugs to all my reviewers! 3

Anything you don't recognize belongs to me; anything you do belongs to J.K.

I'm looking for a hand-drawn pic of Sirius, any have one they want to share, or would anyone be willing to draw one? HUGS to anyone who does!

I love criticism, but ONLY if it's constructive! If you hate the story, tough, stop reading it!


	5. Here's to us

I own nothing you recognize; everything else is mine. So no sticky paws! And I just realized something as I was writing this. Silly me, I said James was captain and then wrote that Vanessa was. Soooo, we're gonna change it to: Sirius is captain of the Quidditch team, and James is head boy like he's supposed to be. Got it? Good!

To HealerAriel: Shirtless Sirius? HELL YEAH! :P

**As Told By Padfoot **

I leapt out of bed after reading the card three times. I ripped open Wormtail's bed hangings, but he was still fast asleep. I put my hand over his mouth and grabbed him by the shirt, forcing him out of the dormitory and onto the spiral staircase. At this point, he was very much awake, and extremely terrified, judging by how wide his pale, watery eyes were. The eyes of a rat. A backstabbing rat.

"What in blazes do you think you're doing Pettigrew?!" I whispered as loud as I dared. He looked at me with confusion. "What's the matter with you, you great oaf?!"

"Sirius, what the devil are you talking about!"

"This!" I threw the roses into his arms, but kept the card. I held it up, right to his face. "Here's to us. HERE'S TO US?!!"

"Sirius, I-"

"I can't believe you Wormtail, you rat. James is your best friend! Why would you try and do something like this to him!"

"Sirius, I-"

"You're nothing but a backstabbing worm! I...I can't believe this. Everything James has done for you, this is how you repay him?! Trying to steal his girlfriend!"

"But Sirius, I-"

"No excuses Peter! I can't believe you! You're lucky I left my wand in there, or so help me, I-"

"SIRIUS!" Peter shouted.

"What?!"

"Would you listen, for a minute?!"

"Why should-"

"Wassamatter?" James said groggily, standing in the doorway, still half asleep. "Was goin' on?"

"Nothing Prongs, go back to sleep." James turned to go back into the room, but turned around again.

"Was- was that you got there Pete?" James was squinting at the bundle of flowers Pettigrew was holding.

"It's...it's nothing. Herbology project. Go back to sleep."

James nodded, trying to stifle a huge yawn, but to no avail. He turned around again, but walked straight into the doorpost. Not seeming to notice, he walked over to his bed, hitting his toe on my trunk. He also seemed not to notice this; he toppled into bed, and started snoring almost instantly.

I let a small grin etch itself on my face. But then I noticed Wormtail again.

"You! You-"

"Sirius!" Peter drew his fist back, aiming at my stomach. "If you don't listen I'll punch you!"

"Now now Peter, would that really be wise? Getting big, bad Padfoot even madder?"

"Y-you d-don't s-s-scare me!" Pettigrew said, trembling slightly.

"You're lying through your teeth! But I'll pity you; you have thirty seconds to explain why you're hitting on Lily."

Wormtail gulped. He looked around, searching for the right words. "W-well, you see, Lily has-has always b-been so n-nice and kind t-to me. S-s-she helped me with my homework when you guys couldn't," he said. Then added, almost to himself: "or wouldn't."

I pretended not to hear the last bit.

"And she's s-so pretty. I w-wouldn't have gotten the f-flowers if I h-had know J-James was going t-to ask her out t-tonight."

"Oh, I see! I understand!" I exclaimed falsely.

"Y-you do?" Peter stammered.

"Yes! It all makes sense now! YOU wanted to ask Lily out before James could, even though you know he's been madly in love with her since he first laid eyes on her! You thought if you asked her first, she would go with you and never even give James a second thought! You'd be superior to James, you would be better then him, and Lily would think so too!" This was obviously not the answer he had expected, but by the look on his face, these words were true. "Isn't that right, _Peter_?"

His eyes turned even more watery then they normally are.

"That is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard Pettigrew. The _thought_ that someone could do that to their own _friend_ sickens me. I don't want to ever see you anywhere around James again. Or Lily, for that matter!" Peter started sobbing quietly.

"Sirius, please, I d-didn't k-know I would c-cause t-his much t-trouble. P-please forgive m-me."

I closed my eyes, trying not to hurt him. My fists tightened involuntarily. But, he said please. Now I'd have to feel bad about saying- "No."

"Sirius, you're one of the best friends, and so is James. I-I would n-never hurt either of y-you purposely...give m-me one m-more c-chance. Please?"

I sighed, groaning inwardly. I had a bad feeling about this.

"Alright. Fine. One more chance. That's it. But if I receive so much as an iota of evidence that you're interfering with James and Lil, I'll have your head mounted in my home next the house-elves'. Got it?" Peter nodded, smiling slightly.

"T-thank you Padfoot. But don't t-tell James about this, o-okay?"

"I won't Wormtail. I won't. Just get rid of the flowers and we're square." He nodded and walked down the stairs quickly. I guess he just didn't want to be near me right then, and that was fine with me.

I walked quietly to my bed, feeling slightly guilty about the way I treated Wormtail. But James has been my best friend since forever; we have to stick up for each other. Maybe I'll apologize to Wormtail. Someday. Maybe.

-

YEAH! IT'S SATURDAY! So why am I up at 7 AM in the morning?!! I'll tell you why! _James_ thought it would be terribly funny to wake me up by transforming into a stag and sitting on my knees. (Did I mention James, Pettigrew, and I are Animagus? I'll get back to that later.) Of course, I didn't share this feeling.

"James, what the hell?! GET OFF ME!"

He hit my head with one of his antlers when he jumped off my bed, straight onto his.

"Hahaha, sorry mate, couldn't resist!" he said with a laugh after he transformed back. You're lucky I can resist hexing you, mate.

"Yeah yeah. Seeing as how I'm up, might as well get some breakfast."

"Me too," agreed Remus.

"I'll come too, I guess," James added. "Think we should invite Lily with us?" he added thoughtfully.

"No," Remus and I said in unison.

"You already have a date, you can't ask her out again before that," I explained.

"Oh, right. Let's go to the kitchens then, instead of the great hall." My thoughts exactly. stomach growls

"Either of you seen Peter?" I looked around. Peter wasn't there; strange, he's usually the last one up.

"Nope."

"Not me."

"Oh well, let's get going then." We walked to the kitchens in silence. I think we were too hungry to talk.

We turned the corner and entered the hallway with giant pictures depicting different foods, but quickly jumped back. To my enormous surprise, Lily Evans was walking out of the hidden door to the main kitchen.

"What's Lily doing here?" I whispered frantically. How did _Lily_ know where the kitchens were? Guess we're rubbing off on her grins.

"Dunno...let's go ask her," James said. He rubbed the 'Head Boy' badge on his robes, making it gleam. Honestly, James acts as if he's never talked to a girl before sometimes.

"No!" Remus and I said as we each grabbed his arms to pull him back.

"What is UP with you two?" James said, looking perplexed.

We both just shook our heads. "Act natural," I whispered in James's ear as we re-entered the corridor. Lily was walking toward us, her arms full of bottles of Butterbeer.

To my absolute horror, James was walking as if both his legs were broken and in casts and he couldn't keep his balance. "WHAT the hell are you doing Prongs?" I nearly yelled. I caught myself just in time and whispered it though...loudly.

"This...this is my, erm, walk," he said, flushing.

"Your _walk_? Since when do you have a walk? And that is not a walk! That's more like a hospital hop if you ask me."

"Yeah, well I didn't, so shut it." Tsk tsk, temper. Just giving a bit of friendly advice...I'm so under appreciated :(

"Hiya Lils," I said as we passed her. She jumped at the sound of my voice.

"Oh, hey Sirius. W-what are you three doing here?" She was acting like a toddler who got caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

"We were just, uh..." I started to say.

"Taking a walk!" Remus provided, grinning at James, who shot him a death glare.

"Yes, taking a walk," I said. "What are YOU doing here?"

"Taking a walk," Lily said with a grin. The badge on her robes was even brighter then James's. James looked like he was about to pass out.

"Well, err...see ya around then," said Remus.

We waved to her as she walked off.

"Smooth James. Real smooth," I said, rolling my eyes at him.

"Nearly talked her ear off you did James," Remus added.

"I was flustered."

"Flustered? Good word. You didn't look so flustered when you were doing your gangsta' stroll though." I quickly dodged out of his aim as I said this.

"Wonder what she was doing with all the Butterbeer though?" Remus asked thoughtfully.

"Her Charms group is having a party," James supplied at once.

"What, do you have her schedule memorized or something?" I asked incredulously. He didn't answer, but he blushed even more.

"Let's just get some food, I'm starving."

-

"Alright team, line up!"

It was the first Quidditch game of the season. I had been made captain just a week earlier, when Vanessa Zach had to leave school because of a family emergency, and I was still new to this managing bit.

My _team_ however, continued to talk as if they hadn't heard me, which I knew they had.

"I said line up you maggots!" Nothing. "Line up or I'll hex you!" Considering I had my wand out and pointed at the lot of them, they reluctantly stopped talking and lined up near the door that led to the packed stadium.

"Everyone know the strategy? Everyone got their broom? Their socks? Good! Let's roll!" I marched out into the bright sunshine, followed by fellow beater Leon Homes. Next came the three chasers: James and two girls named Jane and Mandy, and our keeper Stacey Swan. Lastly came our seeker, Michael Jacobs.

I grinned as the tidal wave of applause washed over us. Scanning the crowd quickly, I saw Lily was there. I never knew she liked Quidditch.

"Teams, ready?" said the new referee, Madame Hooch. I nodded, as did the Ravenclaw captain, Jennifer Gang, a blonde who's hair was longer then mine. Her eyes were ice blue, and I could tell she didn't wear make-up, but she was still very beautiful.

"Shake hands and we'll begin." We did, and the game began.

I kicked off from the ground; the wind stinging my face at first. I kept my hair out of my face by pulling it into my customary ponytail. It's a Muggle thing I learned from Lils about a year ago, and it's been my style ever since.

But anyways, back to Quidditch. The game didn't last very long; about half an hour. The Gryffindor chasers were almost like one, indomitable player rather then three separate ones. The Ravenclaw team wasn't that bad, either. We were up 70-50, and I still hadn't knocked anyone off their broom. Chasing after a bludger, I saw a speck of gold and a blur of red out of the corner of my eye. Three seconds later, and enormous amount of cheers echoed through the stadium, coming mainly from the Gryffindors. Haha, our first game with me as captain was a success! This can only mean one thing...PARTY!

-

"-Hic- Great -hic- party, eh Jamesie? -Hic-" Okay, maybe I added a _little_ something to the Butterbeer (but just mine, so don't go and get me arrested =P).

"Oh -hic- yah, best one so -hic- far," James said in-between hiccups. Okay, and James's drinks too.

"I think you've had enough to drink boys," Lily said, looking disapprovingly at the empty Butterbeer bottles littering the floor of the common room.

"Y-you're not me -hic- mum," James stated matter-of-factly, his eyes somewhat glazed.

"Thank god, or else I might have done something drastic years ago," Lily said with a slight grin.

"She's your -hic- girl though mate, better -hic- listen to her," I said. James and Lily both blushed a deep shade of red.

"Well, I think I'm going to hit the sack, stay out of trouble," Remus said, taking one last swig of his perfectly normal Butterbeer. The goody two shoes.

"Guess I'll leave you two alone," I said with a wink.

"I'll be up in a few," James called after me. Of course I didn't go to bed, I grabbed James's invisibility cloak and crept back down the stairs. James was sitting next to Lily, saying something that made her laugh. Urgh, James, not till your date!

Before I knew what was happening, James bent down and kissed Lily on her cheek. She looked incredibly surprised, but incredibly pleased at the same moment. James smiled as he tucked a stray piece of Lily's vivid red hair behind her ear; his hand lingered there for a moment.

"Good night, Lily," James said so softly I could barely hear him.

"Good night, James," Lily breathed.

Lily started towards the girls' staircase, but James grabbed her arm and drew her close to him. His head drew closer to hers, and then-

"Sirius! What the hell are you doing?" James yelled. On the pretense of trying to get a better view, I tripped over the hem of the cloak. I fell down six stairs, landing at James and Lils's feet. James was seething; Lily looked highly amused.

"I was...um..."

"Spying on me and Lily?"

"Why James, I would never! How could you ever think of such a thing?"

"Sirius, what am I going to do with you?" James said, shaking his head at me.

"Love me and cherish me and serve me for the rest of my life?"

"Sure mate." James jerked his head slightly in the direction of our dorm; he was obviously anxious to get rid of me, so I said my good nights and headed up the staircase. Of course, I just threw the cloak back on and tip-toed back downstairs.

"Sorry about that Lil, he's a handful sometimes."

"I don't mind. He's quite amusing," said Lily with a grin. At least _someone_ appreciates me!

"Well, night." James stood awkwardly for a moment, before turning and heading towards the staircase. This time it was Lily's turn to stop him. Before he could even react, she kissed him. They stood lip-locked for what seemed like ages. I decided to leave them alone, and went to sleep for real.

-

"M-morning Padfoot," James said, yawning like a lion. "Sleep well?"

I stopped rummaging in my trunk. "James! No time for small talk! Do you _realize_ what time it is??" His confused look told me 'no'. "You have ten minutes to get downstairs to go to Hogsmeade!" James gave a slight yelp.

"What the devil?! Why didn't you wake me up?!" he yelled, frantically looking for his black cloak.

"Here!" I shoved his robes, cloak, socks, shoes, and money into his arms. "Run while you dress!" James slipped the robes over his shorts and shirt; the robes would cover them anyway, so it didn't matter if he changed his actual clothes at this point.

"Remus!" I yelled. Wolf-boy ran after James and me as we ran out of the common room, drawing stares from anyone we happened to pass.

"I tried waking you up mate, but you wouldn't budge," I explained to James as we took a shortcut through a tapestry of Scarlet Maarix, a witch famous for...something.

James leaned on my shoulder as he put his socks and shoes on. If anyone asked, we were practicing for a three-legged relay championship in Taiwan. As soon as we reached the huge oak doors, the line of kids started marching out of them.

"Just in time," said a voice behind us. James's face turned two shades paler.

"Hiya Lil," I said, nudging James in his ribs to get him to start walking. He stepped on my foot in retaliation and walked over next to Lily. The two took off chatting, leaving me there, all alone, again. Gah!

"I hope she's good enough for him," I whispered to Remus.

-

Alright! How was that? Okay okay, maybe it wasn't ludicrously long, BUT! It is I think the longest chapter so far, AND I'm getting better at updating! So good news bad news time.

Good news, I'm really starting to like this story! Thank you to all my lovely readers and especially reviewers! You're my inspiration to keep this story going; so if ya like it, click that little button and review!

Bad news, I'm going to my dad's in a week :/ I'll update as much as I can before that, but I guarantee updates will be a lot slower the next two months. BUT I SHALL RETURN!

WITH AN UPDATE!

Next time: James goes on his big date! YEEE-HAW! I know Sirius was a little mean in this chapter, but he's really a nice person :P His funny side will show more in the next chapter. Does anyone else detect a slight hint of jealousy between Sirius and Lily? ;)

Ciao :)


	6. You wanna, kiss de girl

Sue me! Go ahead! ALL YOUR POTTER ARE BELONG TO ME

And this chapter is dedicated to: **HealerAriel** for the segzay pic of Sirius!

**As Told by Padfoot **

****

Having a karaoke contest in the Three Broomsticks wasn't my idea. Well, not entirely. See, I wanted to have it in Honeyduke's chocolate shop, but nooooo, Mr. Moony said he couldn't be around chocolate that long without stuffing himself.

So, after running around Hogsmeade gathering the materials we would need, we headed to the Three Broomsticks to set up. We found an ancient Muggle radio on the curb of a small shop; out of date, but working nonetheless. With the help (and permission...not that I err, always ask for permission and stuff... shifty eyes) of Madame Rosmerta, we conjured a small stage in front of the bar and bewitched a blackboard to write out the words of the song being played.

While we were setting up, Wormtail showed up, and after a quick exchange of greetings, we let him in on the plot.

Somehow, everyone and their brother found out about it and showed up. The bar was packed; you literally couldn't move a foot without running into someone else.

"Testing. Tesing, 1, 2, 3. Testing," Wormtail said, speaking into the magical microphone to ensure it was working properly. While he was doing this, Moony transfigured my robes to become a tux temporarily. Wormtail backed off the stage to the record player; he would be working it.

"Firstly, I'd like to thank you-" my speech was cut short by a wave of noise. Some people were cheering after seeing me (I winked to a third year sitting close to the stage, she nearly fainted), and I didn't blame them; you would cheer to if you saw me!..Right? Anyways, other people started booing and hissing and saying things like 'Get on with the show already!' Honestly, it's not as if we have Broadway girls dancing around in skimpy outfits. Although that isn't a bad idea.... Ah hem. Back to the story.

"Alright, alright. Do we have any volunteers to go first?" A group of fourth year girls eagerly raised their hands. I motioned for them to come up, and they did, all grinning maniacally.

"We would like to dedicate our song to Sirius," the shortest one said. I grinned; this would be interesting.

"We're going to sing 'Eight Days a Week'; it's a Muggle song, but I'm sure a lot of you have heard it." I was positively mortified, yet absolutely amused at the same time. I compromised by clapping and grinning slightly as the music started. Peter, meanwhile, looked totally confused, and I assume it's from the title of the song.

"Moony...I thought there were six days in a week?" Wormtail whispered to Remus. Moony shook his head in disbelief and went back to the show.

"Ain't got nothin' but love, babe, eight days a week. Eight days a week. Eight days a week." They finished to tremendous applause; I'll admit, they had great singing voices, but I wasn't terribly fond of the song. Many of the guys were whistling; the girls _were_ rather pretty...Stop letting me get off topic! cries quietly

"Well done you four!" I said enthusiastically. "Can we get another volunteer?" To my SHOCK, Snivellus raised his hand. No one said anything for a moment. I was seriously considering whether to allow him to perform or not, but I decided this could be a nice source of blackmail.

"What will you be, err...singing?"

Snape confidently strode up to the microphone and said clearly: "Blue moon. And I'll have to ask you to forgive me for not dedicating this to you." The whole room nearly burst with laughter.

"Blue moon; you saw me standing alone," he began. His voice was unexpectedly melodious and low in pitch. The entire time he sang he looked to a sixth year Slytherin; she was somewhat pudgy, had a crooked nose, and her hair was greasier then Snape's. I fought hard not to laugh; but I couldn't hold it in for long. I wasn't alone though; nearly everyone had tears streaming down their face.

"Without a dream in my heart," he sang, glaring at me.

"Without a love of my own," he finished, bowing. I conjured a bouquet of blue roses which I threw at his feet, applauding loudly.

"Good job mate," I said teasingly, with a smirk on my face.

Three more people sang (most of them off-key), and then it was time for the grand finale.

Moony and Wormtail were the air-musicians/back-up singers/dancers, while I had the lead part. "This song goes out to James Potter, aaaand.... Lily Evans!" I smirked mischievously; James groaned, and Lily looked horrorstruck.

I began singing in my oh-so-perfect god-like voice, while all the girls started yelling and screaming and nearly fainting. "There you see her, sitting there across the way, she don't got a lot to say, but there's something about her, and you don't know why, but you're dying to try; you wanna kiss the girl." James buried his face in his hands. Moony was playing an imaginary flute; Wormtail was beating on a pretend drum. 

I continued, grinning like a madman. "Yes, you want her; look at her, you know you do; possible she want you too; there is one way to ask her. It don't take a word, not a single word, go on and kiss the girl! SING WITH ME NOW!" 

["Sha-la-la-la-la-la my oh my" Moony and Wormtail sang.] "Look like the boy too shy! Ain't gonna kiss the girl." ["Sha-la-la-la-la-la"] "Ain't it so sad? Ain't it a shame? Too bad, he gonna miss the girl." I grinned evilly at James, who looked like he wanted to sock me. "Now's your moment, floating in the blue lagoon; boy, you better do it soon, no time would be better; she don't say a word, and she won't say a word, until you kiss the girl!" 

["Sha-la-la-la-la-la don't be scared"] "You got the mood prepared, go on and kiss the girl." ["Sha-la-la-la-la-la don't stop now"] "Don't try to hide it, how? You wanna kiss the girl! Woh, woh." All three of us sang: "Sha-la-la-la-la-la float along, and listen to the song; the song say, kiss the girl!" 

"Woh, woh." James started to make his way to the stage, but Lily pulled him back. "Sha-la-la-la-la-la music play; do what the music say: you wanna kiss the girl!" 

["You got to"] "Kiss the girl!" ["Why don't you"] "Kiss the girl!" ["Go on, you gotta"] "Kiss the girl!" ["Go on and"] "Kiss the giiiiirl!" Nearly everyone was on their feet and clapping as we finished. However, the noise subsided, as a large picture of James and Lily magically appeared on the blackboard. Everyone watched it eagerly. 

"What?" James said, totally clueless. 

"Kiss the girl!" everyone shouted at once. James raised an eyebrow at us all (shiver), still glaring daggers at me. He then pulled Lily close to him, hesitating for a fraction of a second; then- 

A simultaneous "Awwwww!" erupted from the female half of the audience, while a "Woo-woo-woot!" exploded from the male populace. I grinned; just hope James doesn't stay mad at me. And I figured, this will get Lils used to James friends; this is our personality; we're out-going, friendly (for the most part), and will do anything for kicks. 

Lily smiled as she quietly followed James to the stage. I gulped. 

"Err...hiya James, Lil." 

"Har har. Sooo funny, Padfoot," James said sarcastically. 

"Oh stop James, I thought it was cute," Lily said, playfully hitting James's arm. 

"At least your big kiss made them forget about prizes; I forgot to get them!" Peter said sadly. 

"It's ok, you guys would have won for sure," Lily said, trying to comfort him. I growled inwardly. 

"How about a round of butterbeer? On me!" I said, trying to take my mind off of that. Everyone nodded happily. I swear, I didn't add anything to my drink this time! 

-Hic- 

--------

"Did you have fun?" James asked Lily once we returned from Hogsmeade. 

"Loads," she replied, grinning. "Today was...magical." 

"Glad you enjoyed yourself; we'll have to do this again sometime," James said, a smile tugging at his lips. "Minus the serenade." Lily giggled and nodded in agreement. She gave him an awkward hug a small kiss on the cheek before heading to her dormitory. 

"Lookit, James has a girly!" I teased once Lily had gone. 

"Shove it Padfoot." 

"Aww, Jamesie, you're no fun." I put on a feigned look of depression. James punched me playfully. 

"You wanna take this outside punk?" I said, faking a snarl. 

"Outside? We got all the room we need right here, foo'!" He started circling around me, fists raised. 

"Oh, it's on!" I shouted, tackling him. He responded by a swift kick and a punch to my arm. I attempted to put him into a chokehold, only to be thrown backwards into a body slam. Moony pretended to be reading a book, but I knew he was trying not to laugh at our immaturity. Wormtail, though, thought we were really fighting and looked on with his mouth agape. "They'll stop once one is knocked out...or killed," Moony told him, grinning evilly. Wormtail shrugged and continued to watch, not sure who to root for. After another failed attempt to strangle James, I knocked him off his feet, and proceeded to sit on his stomach. 

"Do you give up, Potter?" I asked with a smirk. 

"Never, Black!" He attempted to throw me off of him, but nearly crushed himself in the process. 

"Okay, how about a compromise?" he offered. 

"I'm listening," I said. 

"I give up if you go on a diet. Seriously mate, how much do you bloody weigh-" I punched his arm, determined not to get up now until he suffocated from lack of being able to breathe properly. 

"He's turning blue," Moony pointed out. 

"Oh, fine. Spoilsports." I reluctantly got up from my post. James immediately gasped for air. 

"Walk it off," I told him. He shot me a death glare, which I returned with a grin. 

--------

Well? Did you like it?? I told you Sirius would be somewhat funnier in this chapter; was he? 

Only way I can fix my problems is if you point them out to me =P Thank you to all my reviewers! 3 

I know James and Lil practically can't keep their hands off of each other; love-hate thing coming at ya shortly! And I will have a girl for Sirius shortly :) 

Kitty


	7. Single

Thank you to all my reviewers! Glad you like this story :)

**As Told by Padfoot **

With all the chaos of the first weeks of school, girls had _nearly_ sorta slipped my mind, and James was nice enough to point out that I hadn't had a girlfriend since the middle of summer.

"I bet you can't even _get_ a girl Black," James said with a snicker one evening while we were relaxing in the common room.

"You think so, eh?" I retorted. "I'll take you on with that bet, Potter."

"Alright: you have until Friday to find a girlfriend." Today was Tuesday. "If you can't, you have to do my Potion's homework for a month. And you have to do a good job on it!"

"And if I find someone?"

"I will admit in from of the whole school that you are the sexiest thing to walk the planet Earth since the beginning of time, I wish I was more like you, and you are the Gryffindor God instead of me." He meant this as a joke, but I thought it would be a good reward.

"Deal," I said, extending my hand to him. We shook on it; that is how the Almighty-Find-Padfoot-A-Girl quest got started.

------

"You know, I work out five times a week," I said smoothly to a Ravenclaw seventh-year, flexing my biceps. She giggled. Just then, however, a HUGE guy, with more muscles then me, put his arm around her waist.

"Hello Baby," she cooed to him. "Oh, Sirius, this is my boyfriend, Lance. Have you two met before?" I gulped and shook my head; Lance growled at me.

"Err...I have to get going, just remembered I have to...err...do...something! See ya!" With that I nearly ran out of the Great Hall. James, who was watching the whole seen, cackled madly. I didn't stop running till I got to the marble staircase.

"Black!" someone shouted from behind me. I groaned; what'd I do now?!

"Yes?" I said, politely as I could, not even turning around.

"Stand up Black." I did as I was told, not wanting to get in a fight.

The owner of the voice walked down the stairs in front of me, slapping my face as she came to a stop.

"What was that for?!" I shouted, massaging my stinging cheek.

"You know perfectly well what that was for, Black."

"No, I don't! Please enlighten me," I said, scowling at the girl standing in front of me.

"Oh, hmm," she said. "Let's think for a minute. Could it be for, oh, I don't know, going out with _three_ other girls while you were telling me you loved me, then dumping me for a _fourth_ year?"

"Jessie, I can explain..." I said, shivering slightly. I was at least a foot taller then her, but no way in Hell was I going to stand up to her. Jessica has a...slight anger management problem, and I have a sneaking suspicion it's all because of me.

"Save it Black, I don't want to hear it," she said angrily. She turned around and stomped back up the stairs, her long blonde hair and black robes flying out behind her.

"Jessie, wait!" I called after her. She decided to ignore me. If she didn't want to talk to me, I wouldn't follow her. Jessie was in my year and in Gryffindor; when I said I loved her, I meant it. I think...

I don't know why I played her, if I did love her so much. I don't understand how I could be so immature. Gah, look at me; I'm starting to sound..._sentimental._ But I'll have to ask Moony about it later; seeing Jessie again is starting to make me think, and that could be dangerous.

Sighing in defeat, I moodily walked towards the kitchens. My stomach was growling.

Twenty minutes later, I was so stuffed I could barely move. The house elves were extremely entertaining; one of them fell over because he was bowing so low. But he cried his eyes out, thinking he had committed some terrible crime, and I had to reassure him that I wouldn't tell Dumbledore to give him clothes.

I walked slowly towards the Gryffindor common room, feeling content. That feeling was replaced by immense confusion however, as I stepped through the circular doorway.

"James Potter, I never want to see you for the rest of my life, you insensitive, good-for-nothing, lazy, stupid, ignorant excuse for a human being!" Lily shouted furiously to a guilty looking Prongs.

As soon as Lily left the room, I whistled. "What did you do now, Mate?" I asked him disbelievingly.

"I...have no clue," he stated genuinely. I shook my head and laughed.

"First fight eh?" He nodded, a frown forming on his face.

"I'll never understand girls," he said shortly.

I spotted Jessica, chatting with a friend on the other side of the Common Room. I grimaced and said, "Me either mate."

"Speaking of girls," Moony said smugly. "How's this girl finding business going?"

"Actually..." I said, hesitating slightly, "not to well."

Moony let out a false gasp. "Sirius Black, dateless and not able to do anything about it?! What IS this world coming to?"

"Shove it," I said, sticking my tongue out at him.

"When's the next full moon?" James asked, changing the subject.

Moony scowled. "Tomorrow," he practically growled out.

"Excellent!" James said. Moony glared at him.

"It is _not_ excellent, James Potter."

"Well, I guess it isn't for you," he said, obviously clueless to the glower Moony was shooting at him. "But I can't wait to have a night out."

"Well, I certainly hope you enjoy yourselves while I turn into a beast I have no control over."

"How _can_ the girls resist you Moony!" I teased.

"Go to Hell Padfoot."

"I'm just teasing you Moony, no need to get moody." I grinned at him; he replied by throwing a sofa pillow at my head, knocking me over.

"Graceful, Black," Jessie called from the other side of the room.

"You know you love me!" I shouted back at her. She rolled her eyes, and continued chatting with her friend.

"You and Jessie are on speaking terms again?" James asked.

"Oh, don't worry; we're not on a first name basis yet." The three remaining Marauders snickered.

"Don't make me hex you," I warned dramatically, brandishing a quill at them.

"Oh no, it's the, the, _Quill of Death_!" Moony said in mock horror. James and Peter cowered.

"That's right, be afraid! Be very afraid!" I shouted at them, standing on the sofa I was previously sitting on.

"That's it Sirius! Detention!" said James with a grin, brandishing another quill at me.

"You can't put me in detention!" I cried in protest.

He pointed to his Head Boy badge, grinning manically. "Watch me!"

"You'll have to catch me first!" I said, drastically leaping off the couch. I hid behind Moony. "Can't find me!" I taunted.

"I wonder where Padfoot could be hiding," James jokingly said, stroking an invisible goatee.

Moony rolled his eyes. "You two are so childish!" he said, moving to the side so I was in plain view of James. Drat! Foiled yet again! I shall get you Moony!

"Rats," I muttered.

"Ah-hah!" James yelled triumphantly, pointing his quill at my throat.

"You wouldn't!" I gasped.

"Without batting an eye," he replied.

"Nice to know how much you care," I said, pretending to sob into my hands.

"DEATH TO SIRIUS!" James shouted for all the common room to see. He made dragged the feather part of the quill across my throat; I emitted a very convincing death/choking noise, and fell over, clutching my neck.

Everyone in the room burst out laughing. I grinned slyly as I stood up and bowed.

"Thank you, thank you, we will be performing every night at ten!" I joked.

"Will you two ever grow up?" Peter asked us.

"Grow...up?" I said. "I know not the meaning!"

Remus threw another pillow at me. Hmf!

------

Professor McGonagall sighed in exasperation. "Mr. Black! Kindly do not use your wand in that manner again of I shall deduct 50 points from Gryffindor!" James and I were having a 'sword' fight with out wands. We knew the threat was empty, but decided not to continue the fight.

"I shall get you next time, Potter!" I whispered.

"Pfft, never!" he whispered back.

"Today we will be studying the delicate art of the Animagus," she said, starting the lesson. We Marauders didn't pay much attention, seeing as how we were sorta experts; well, none of us but Moony, the amateur!

"Does that mean I'm an artist?" I asked James, pretending to look self-conscious.

"It means you're a git, Padfoot."

"Oh, that's ok then."

Everyone clapped as the professor turned into a tabby cat.

"Would love to see her face if you three transformed," Moony whispered to us with a grin.

"Don't Padfoot," James warned, glaring at Moony for suggesting it to my easily influenced mind.

"Aww, you're no fun," I said, trying to look sad, but failing miserably.

"And you're pathetic," James said.

"And the four of you will be in detention if you do not pay attention," McGonagall said, staring at us with a scowl on her face.

"I would be most delighted if any of you became Animagi in your future careers; however, I will warn you that it is a very dangerous art, with severe consequences if it does not go correctly." Professor M. talked about Animagi for the rest of the class, and told us we each needed to write a foot long essay, telling which animal we would become and why. This was easy for us four.

"I think Moony would be a bunny rabbit," I mused out loud. Moony proceeded to smack the back of my head.

"And why's that?"

"Because you're so cute and cuddly," James replied with a snort, dancing out of Moony's reach.

"You're just lucky your Head Boy Potter, or I would-"

"You'd what?" James asked with a smirk.

"Wouldn't you like to know!" Moony said darkly. He moved his hand swiftly across his throat. "Get my drift?"

"You're too nice for that, Rabbit," I teased. I took off running, Moony on my heels, yelling profanities at my back the whole time.

------

And so the almighty find Siri a girl quest begins!

Hope ya like this chapter :) PLEASE click that review button! THE NEXT CHAPTER IS BEING HELD HOSTAGE UNTIL I GET 35 REVIEWS! MWUAHAHA!

crickets chirp Ah hem...okay, maybe not, but still! Please review pouts

Sirius: Please review!!! cries Please? (bats eyelashes and blows kisses to everyone to make them review)

James: urgh, Sirius, you're freaking out any guys who are reading this!

Sirius: (pouts)

Okay...how's this :) Describe yourself in your review and i'll put you in a cameo appearance as one of Sirius's attempts to get a girl! Mwuahahaha


	8. And Looking

I don't own Harry Potter, yada yada... btw, FF.net keeps deleting double asteriks that i have around all actions (like (cough) (giggle) etc, so if something seems out of place, that's why =/)

**As Told by Padfoot **

"Sirius!" a short girl with shoulder-length, dark brown hair said, running up to me and giving me a hug. "Sirius Black, where have you been!" she said with a grin, looking me up and down.

"Tiffany!" I said, imitating her happiness. Tiffany had changed a lot since we last had talked, and even when we did it wasn't for long; Tiffany was in Slytherin, and practically the whole school would condone a Gryffindor "fraternizing with the enemy", as James put it. Her once green eyes were now a stunning hazel; Tiffany as a whole looked more mature and grown up.

"W-that are you doing here?" I was sitting at the Gryffindor house table in the Great Hall.

"Oh calm down Sirius, I just wanted to say hi," she said with a wink. Her flirting was interrupted, though, by a voice that seemed to come out of no where.

"Oh Sirius," the voice called playfully. I grinned; I love all the attention. The owner of the voice squeezed herself into the seat next to me, pushing Tiffany out of the way. She sulked back to the Slytherin table, purposely hitting the other's girl's shoulders as she walked past.

"Erin," I said with a grin. "Want to take a walk?" I extended my arm to her, which she took. Erin's extremely long brown hair was tied in a messy bun on her head; her deep hazel eyes were sparkling. "So," I said, breaking the silence as we walked around the grounds outside. "How's life as a sixth year?" She laughed.

"Oh, pretty much the same as a fifth year. Can't wait till next year though."

"It's really not anything special," I said with a shrug. "Only nice thing is graduating in my opinion."

"There's always the chance of being made Head Boy or Girl though," she pointed out.

"Like I said, the only nice thing." I grinned. Suddenly, our faces were mere inches apart. I leaned in closer to her.

"Erin!" Moony shouted. He ran towards us. DRAT! FOILED!

"Remus!" Erin squealed.

"I've been looking all over for you!" he said, embracing her. I stood nervously, not really sure what was going on. Before I knew it, he kissed her, and she kissed him back, then they walked off, not even looking back. I'm all alone again :(

---------

"Did you know Moony has a girlfriend?" I asked, sighing as bodily threw myself on an armchair in the common room.

"Where have you been Padfoot? He asked her out like a week ago."

"Under a rock. You?" I said sarcastically. He rolled his eyes at me.

"I heard that Amora was single and looking," James said casually.

"Amora?? I thought she was going out with Lucius Malfoy?"

"They broke up once he graduated."

Amora was a very attractive Hufflepuff with a personality to match. No clue why she went out with Malfoy. Opposites attract, I guess. "Hmm."

"You better hurry up mate, or Peter will have found a girl before you," James said with a grin.

"I could get any girl in this school that I want," I replied defiantly. He snorted.

"Get Amora then," he said coolly.

"Who said I wanted her?"

"You know you do. _Everyone_ wants Amora...except me of course, I have Lils."

"Doesn't look like she has you though mate," I said grimly, pointing to Lily, who was sitting near the fireplace. She was smiling and giggling with some sixth year guy I didn't know.

"Wha- how dare he!" James said, storming over to them. I couldn't hear what he said, but it didn't seem to phase the sixth year.

"James Potter, you have no right to barge in on my conversation like this!" Lily said, poking James in the chest with her index finger and glowering at him.

"Lily- I-"

"Potter, I told you we were through!" With that she stormed out of the common room.

"She still hasn't forgiven you for whatever it was you don't remember you did?" I asked as James sat down next to me. He shook his head, glaring at the sixth year.

"Don't worry, just give her some time," I advised, unlike me.

"Yeah, whatever. Listen, I'm going to bed."

"Night Prongs."

After he left, I thought about what he had said about Amora. It would be a challenge, that's for sure. And I knew exactly what to do.

------

"Amora, Amora, I beseech you, fair lad, where art Amora!" I asked Prongs.

"What-the-hell-are-you-doing?!" James said in-between heavy bursts of laughter. I suppose he had a right to laugh; I was taking the term "knight in shining armor" very literally. I had snuck out in the middle of the night, and erm..._borrowed_ a shining suit of armor from a corridor leading to the Arithmancy classroom.

"Nay! I haveth no time for petty talk such as this! Where art the Lady Amora?"

"Why don't you try the Great Hall, Romeo?"

"That would be Sir Romeo to you, peasant!" I said, unsuccessfully trying to withdraw the metal sword from its sheath.

"May want to work on your awesome knight powers, milord," James said, bowing mockingly.

"Quiet, commoner! The lady awaits!" I clamored out of the circular entrance, the Fat Lady staring at me as my armor clanged and squeaked. My helmet, complete with visor and red feathers on top, restricted my vision, and ever so graceful, I ran into quite a lot of things, including a brick wall. Most of the people I passed decided not to comment on my attire; they simply sniggered their heads off as they pointed me out to their friends.

Finally spotting my victi- err, um...target...no, erm...meh, guess there really aren't any words that wouldn't make me sound like a murderer, I sauntered up to her.

"Dearest Amora!" I called to her. She raised her eyebrows, not sure what was going on. She looked at me nervously, backing away slowly.

"Halt!" I said, making her jump and stop abruptly. I kneeled down to her and grabbed her hand. I raised the visor on my helmet and kissed her hand.

"Uh..." she said. "Who's erm...under there?" she asked.

"Oh, hark! Thou do not recognize me!" I lowered my head in mock defeat.

Amora quickly pulled the helmet off of my head. "Sirius Black!" she yelled. She quickly grabbed my hand and dragged me into an empty classroom. Kinky.

"What are you doing?!" she hissed at me. Ouch, not what I was expecting...hehe.

"Being your knight in shining armor," I said with a smirk.

"My-what? What are you talking about?" she asked confusedly.

"I ask of thee! Wilt thou accept my offer of courtship?"

"Court...ship. Sirius, you're off your rocker."

"Alas! Thou haft wounded me!"

"Right..." she said, scooting away from me.

"Alright, alright," I said, giving up the stunt. "Wanna go out with me?" I asked.

She laughed. "Now, was that so hard?" I shook my head, grinning. "Of course I will Sirius.

"Alas! My heart is full! Now, I haveth other...appointments, with a certain Professor and a certain...punishment. Farewell, fair maiden, until the stars deem we meet again!" I bowed and kissed her hand, took the helmet from her, and marched to detention with Professor Sprout. I'd rather not go into the charges held against me...let's just say, daises _normally_ don't turn into six foot tall man-eating flowers whenever a Slytherin walks by.

Of course, Professor Sprout wasn't as amused with my choice of clothing as everyone else had been.

--------

"You lose Prongs," I said with a smirk.

"Oh?" he asked.

"Yes. You lose, I win; but was there ever any doubt?" Peter laughed. Remus was just looking forward to James humiliating himself in front of the whole school.

"Oh no, you haven't won yet."

"What?" I asked. I had gotten a girlfriend, hadn't I?

"You have to stay with her till Friday." Gah, today was Wednesday. Not that I was planning to dump her soon... (Cough). Nah, I'm just playing.

"Me? Stay with only one girl for two days?! NEVER!" I said, sticking my nose in the air.

"Then no deal, Padfoot."

"Okay, okay, fine!" James just likes to see me squirm, I know it. Great best friend I have there, eh?

"Let's make this even more interesting," Moony said suddenly. "I want in on this bet. What do you say to...fifty galleons? That James wins, that is." I thought about this. One hundred galleons? Hell yeah.

"I'll take up that bet," I said.

"So will I," James said, grinning.

"Don't look at me," said Peter. "I'm broke."

"Alright; so one hundred galleons to me if I win and fifty to each of you if you win?"

"Yup," James said.

"Alright," I grinned. "We have an accord."

----------

"Guess who!" someone whispered as a slender pair of hands covered my eyes.

"Err...Amora?" I guessed.

"No," the person said. I could envision her pouting. "Guess again."

"Uh...Jessie?"

"Gawd Sirius, how many girls do you know!" I looked around to see who it was.

"Ahh, Chloe," I said with a grin. She didn't look too happy; she was standing with her arms crossed. Her jet black hair rivaled my own in color. She was gazing at me out of her almond shaped brown eyes, which were narrowed into a glare.

"Who are Amora and Jessie?" she asked menacingly.

"Just, err...friends," I said. Hey, I still have a reputation as a playa' to live up to!

She grinned. "Wanna get a drink with me at the Three Broomsticks next time we go to Hogsmeade?" she asked.

"I sure-"

"Would not!" someone finished for me. Eep. I feel a cat-fight coming on.

"Hello, Amora," Chloe said icily. Amora didn't reply to her.

"Sirius, what are you doing hanging around with stupid fifth years like her?" Amora demanded.

"I am _not_ a stupid fifth year!" Chloe said indignantly.

"Was I _talking_ to you?" Amora said, clenching her fists.

"Girls..." I said. "Don't fight." Who was I kidding; two girls fighting over me? This I wanted to see.

"Stay out of this Sirius."

"Don't talk to Sirius like that!" Chloe said angrily.

"I'll talk to him anyway I want!" Amora said heatedly. Now wait just a minute! Hmf.

"Girls!" Professor McGonagall said, strolling up to us. "Would you please stop your shouting match?" The girls mumbled apologies, but soon resumed fighting as she walked out of earshot. I decided to quietly slip away.

"Sirius, where are you going?" they both yelled at my retreating back.

Not even turning, I continued running. Damn James for starting this whole stupid thing!

"Black!" I groaned. Jessie. Just what I needed.

"Hiya Jessie," I said uncomfortably.

"What was all that about just now in the Great Hall?"

"I have no idea, Jessie." I wasn't going to tell her they were fighting over me; besides, she probably knew anyways.

"I'm sure. Listen..." She suddenly looked uncomfortable. "I know it's not for about two weeks, but..."

"Yes?" I prodded.

"Go to the Halloween ball with me?" she asked, while her cheeks turned red.

I grinned. "Don't the guys usually ask the girls?" I asked with a smirk.

"Usually Black. Usually."

"I have a first name, you know," I said pointedly.

"I know Black." She winked at me before walking off. I leaned against the nearest wall; what had I just gotten myself into?

----------

Welllllllllllllllll?

THANK YOU TO ALL MY REVIEWERS! (huggles)

(dances) woo-hoo, Sirius has a girl!... or two!

So, I need you guy's opinion. Should Sirius go with Amora or Jessie? Or should I make up a whole new character?

Sorry if you don't like how I put you, but I didn't realize how hard it would be :S I did my best though, so I hope you like it ;)

Sirius: Why do I need to talk about James and Lils? The story _is_ all about me after all (wink)

James: (smack) I'm in this story too though!

Sirius: But are you in the title?

James: Ahh...no

Sirius: Bwuahahaha (giggle)

Everyone else: (back away slowly)

Sirius: Ah hem... anyways, please review? (blows kisses to everyone)

Millions of fangirls all over the world: (faint)

This chapter may have been confusing, just leave any questions you have in your review and i'll answer them asap!


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